Why ‘Fake It ‘Til You Make It’ Is A Bad Idea

Why ‘Fake It ‘Til You Make It’ Is A Bad Idea

Ok, I’ll admit it. I hate the saying “fake it ‘til you make it”.  I never knew how much I disagreed with this until I was interviewed earlier this year on a podcast.  (click here to listen to the full episode of The Intelligence of Grit http://bit.ly/2s1C5Xs).  When she asked me what I thought about this approach. I immediately said something like “I hate it, I totally disagree with this phrase”. Now for those of you who have always wondered, yes it’s true I am a very opinionated person 😊.  But what was most interesting was that I had never really thought about my response before. This got me thinking, why do I feel so strongly about this and what can you do about it instead? I started to dig into my reasons, so here goes: I’ve heard this phrase used over and over when someone wants to: Try something new Go for a job interview Speak up in a meeting, Stand up for yourself or something you believe in Anytime you want to stretch and grow But this phrase means you’re putting on a mask and presenting only a partial version of yourself.  This mask puts up a barrier between you and others. When you’re not being yourself, the relationships, conversations and events will never be truly satisfying.  Also, since our BS meters are well tuned, we can feel it when others are being phonies. It’s a sure bet other people feel vaguely uncomfortable with you when you fake it too. You may not know why you come away from some meetings or events feeling dissatisfied, but this... read more
Three Ways To Rob Yourself Of Happiness

Three Ways To Rob Yourself Of Happiness

Happy, happy, happy. We all want to be happy, we chase it, we hunger after it. And we’re always looking for the next trick that we think will finally make us happy.  But it can be much simpler. Happiness is really an inside game, there are 3 common mistakes we make every day that rob us of our joy and satisfaction. Literally, when you do these things you drain the happiness from your life and you’re left dull and stale.   I did a Facebook Live on this a couple of days ago.  You can check it out my video  http://bit.ly/2t45xfT (be sure to watch when my camera drops at the 6 minute mark if you want a laugh.) Waiting for the perfect time You can spend a long time waiting for the perfect moment, or trying to perfect what you do before you even start.  When you keep putting it off, your life will just pass you by. Life is about growth through trial and error. Grab your courage and start now, and by now I mean today. Once you get started, you will begin to gather energy and excitement. It won’t be perfect, but you will learn from your mistakes and use those lessons to improve. Happiness comes from the satisfaction of striving and growth. You will feel excited and proud of what you’re accomplishing and before you know it you will feel happier too. Comparing yourself to others Have you noticed? When you compare yourself to others you are never the one who comes out on top. You compare your outfit and your appearance with someone else. Or... read more
Let’s Get Real

Let’s Get Real

Let’s face it. Life isn’t easy. It’s not always fun, blue skies and flowers.  But when we look at social media we get the false idea that everyone else’s life is a dream come true. How can we ever feel good about our normal life when all we see are Facebook and Instagram feeds full of perfect meals, perfect trips, perfect #OOTD and perfect hair days? This is crazy-making stuff, right? So, here’s what we get to pick. We get to choose to believe that their lives are perfect, filled with unicorns and only happy fun times and nothing difficult ever happens in their world.  Ok, honest admission, it’s true I’ve bought that pack of lies before too!!!!  But today I can choose different and so can you.  Let’s pause and really think about it, we know in our heart of hearts that each person has their own challenges. Maybe they’ve posted about their perfect hair day because they just had a fight with their teenager. Or maybe, they posted a photo of that perfect meal and they are nervous about their upcoming doctor’s appointment. Truly we will never know what challenges someone else is facing. But we can be sure that they do have issues, just like we do. We can decide to enjoy our lives and believe they are perfect for us, and really, we are good enough right now. Who wants a perfect life anyway? Whenever we compare our lives to anyone else we do ourselves a huge disservice. When we focus outward only on what others are doing, being, having and achieving we will never... read more
Stop Struggling. Use These 5 Proven Strategies To Unwind Before You Go To Bed.

Stop Struggling. Use These 5 Proven Strategies To Unwind Before You Go To Bed.

Have Trouble Sleeping? Our days are filled to the brim with information, action and distraction. We have so much access to digital devices, TV, Netflix, music, games, social media…day and night. It wasn’t that many years ago that we lived in sync with the cycle of the sun and the seasons. Our bodies evolved to live in harmony with nature and we need a good night’s sleep to keep us healthy and resilient. We are no longer in tune with the rise and fall of the sun.  Long hours working, and high stress are now a common theme throughout our lives. And with this, many people have told me they just can’t fall asleep when they go to bed. They toss and turn for hours before they finally drift off.  Then wake the next morning to the alarm clock feeling exhausted and sluggish both mentally and physically. As nature intended, evening should be a time of a quieting and settling down in preparation for a good night’s sleep. If you’ve gone camping you’ve probably noticed how sleepy you get when the sun goes down. It’s not just the fresh air and physical activity but it’s also shows how quickly your body gets back into that groove of rising with the sun, slowing down and relaxing in the evening and followed by a good night’s sleep. With a busy schedule, you may be carrying the day’s stress with you to bed. It’s no wonder then that this can lead to insomnia, which is a huge problem in society today. For the sake of your mental and physical health, it’s worth it... read more
Happy New Year

Happy New Year

Happy New Year! It’s almost New Year’s. Today’s message is about hope for the future.  2016 has been a challenging year for so many reasons unexpected deaths, unrest, and disconnected & divided people. There is a feeling of possibility in the air and more than anything I would love for you to start 2017 completely fresh. Over the next few days, take some time to get quiet and reflect on what has gone well and what hasn’t and above all reflect on what have you learned this year. I encourage you to sit with your journal and write as opposed to just thinking about the year.  You always get to choose how you respond to life events even when they seem crazy and out of control.  Will you choose to create and grow or will you fearfully hide in the shadows? So often we allow our Inner Critic to govern our life. Instead of listening to the voice that tells us we’re not good enough, get in touch instead with your inner voice of wisdom and decide what will make 2017 your best year ever. We only get this one life. When you live your life from a place of fear you will never be satisfied and whole. It takes courage to quiet the voice of fear, but you can do it. Choose to be true to yourself and 2017 will unfold in ways you can only imagine.  Don’t hold back, live your life ‘full out’ it will be worth it. Leave a comment below:  I’d love to hear more about what you have planned to make 2017 your... read more
Create a Morning Routine that Nourishes Your Body, Mind and Spirit

Create a Morning Routine that Nourishes Your Body, Mind and Spirit

You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of success is found in your daily routine. Hey there, I love this quote, and it’s true, how you start your day makes a huge difference to how you feel and how much you accomplish. This is how my day used to start.  When the alarm sounded, I’d hit the snooze button 3-4 times. Before I dragged myself out of bed, I would lay there and complain to myself about how much I didn’t want to get up and how much I didn’t like my job. Then, because I was late I would jump in the shower, throw on some clean clothes, mascara and a bit of lipstick. I would hastily slurp a cup of coffee while I ran out the door for my morning commute.  Does your morning sound something like this too? I found when I started the day in a rush it set the tone for the entire day. I was always late or just barely on time and I was never fully prepared for anything. I sure wasn’t showing up as “my best self”. Plus, because I spent the entire day rushing, my anxiety and stress levels were off the charts. A few years ago, I started to create a fresh morning routine that was healthier. As I began to follow this routine more and more, I noticed that not only was I feeling better mentally and physically, I was also able to focus on my goals and get more done throughout the day. Here’s what my perfect morning routine looks... read more
Create a Digitial Vision Board in 5 Easy Steps

Create a Digitial Vision Board in 5 Easy Steps

How to Create a Digital Vision Board in 5 Easy Steps YES, it’s wonderful to have big dreams and there are lots of different ways to set goals, and create your plan to achieve them. One of my favorites is to use a vision board, the only problem – I don’t like to cut up magazines and glue things to a poster board. I only have a little bit of wall space to put it on and my handwriting is almost unreadable so I’m never happy writing key inspiring items. In a word my vision board never looks as good as the ones I see on Pinterest!!!! My new FAVORITE way of creating a vision board is digital. A digital vision board is a collection of images and text that you can take with you wherever you go and it takes less time to create than a physical vision board you stick on the wall. Because they are so easy to make you can make one for each of your goals or one for your entire life! I spend so much time on my computer, tablet and phone so having the digital version is much more convenient for me. Since it’s digital I can look at my board wherever I am and at any time. This keeps it top of mind so you always have your dreams at the forefront of your mind. Here’s some tips on how you can easily make your own digital vision board and use it to inspire you reach your dreams and goals. Write down one of your goals. Get super specific about what you really... read more
Thanksgiving Thoughts

Thanksgiving Thoughts

 If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is “thank you” it will be enough. Meister Eckhart   Good morning – this morning as I drank my morning coffee I thought about all the things I take for granted daily that I don’t appreciate. It’s amazing to me, that even though I have a regular gratitude practice still I feel like I allow things to pass me by unnoticed. Here are a few that I thought of this morning: I have hot fresh coffee in a beautiful cup. There is always fresh clean water to make it, just turn on the tap and it’s there. The air is fresh and clean, I don’t have to wear a smog mask It’s quiet. There are no air strikes, no explosions or sounds of gunshot, no crying of scared children. I’m warm. If I get cool (not even cold) I turn on the heat in my home or put on one of my many sweaters that is clean and pretty I am loved. I have a family who loves me. A husband who kisses me good morning and good night every day for the past 35+ years. My mother emails me every morning to say hi or send a joke. The power is on, if it’s a bit dark I just flip the switch and I can see, or turn on the stove to cook breakfast. Just so easy. I didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. Any time I’m just a little bit hungry, I open the fridge and have a choice. If I don’t see what satisfies... read more
Be Yourself: Beyond the Cliche

Be Yourself: Beyond the Cliche

 Life is too short to spend it trying to please everyone around you at the expense of yourself. Be 100% YOU.   What does it mean to be yourself? It’s one of those phrases you hear a lot these days. And it’s quickly becoming a cliché.  Today, let’s talk about “being you” in practical terms. Many people spend their entire life pleasing others and putting their own needs and desires 2nd, 3rd or even at the bottom of the list. Sometimes, it’s just so easy to yes. But when it becomes a habit it wears you down and eventually you find you’re completely out of tune with who you are at heart. How often do you agree to something that you don’t enjoy? Sometimes it’s a big thing, other times it’s the small stuff that adds up. One of my clients ran into this situation. Her husband always wants to socialize with his best friend and wife. Her problem, she doesn’t really like them, and has very little in common with the wife. She had been spending a lot of time socializing with them and not enjoying it. But, because her partner loves his best friend, she felt kind of stuck in the forever compromise situation. This is ok, from time to time, I understand that you can’t always have things your own way, but when it becomes a habit and you notice you’re starting to feel resentful it might be time to speak up about what you want too. An example from my life, a few years ago my manager decided he wanted to shift my job to one that had... read more
Getting the Sleep of Your Dreams

Getting the Sleep of Your Dreams

Do you lie in bed at night awake, tossing and turning and can’t get to sleep? Do you get so frustrated staring at the ceiling, checking and rechecking your alarm clock to see how many hours are left until you have to get up tomorrow morning. Insomnia is very common these days, studies, by the National Sleep Foundation show that more than 70 million people suffer regularly from insomnia. That’s a lot of people! When you don’t get enough sleep, not only are you tired, sluggish and grumpy, your health suffers too. We know now that not getting enough sleep is a major contributor to many serious health issues like cardiovascular disease, diabetes, depression and obesity. It also contributes to memory loss and a reduced immune system making you susceptible to every cold and flu bug walking by. What can you do? I’m not a medical professional, but there are some practical easy steps you can take to help yourself get back to a good night’s sleep without resorting to sleeping pills. Give them a try and see what works for you: Give yourself a chance to unwind. Take time to slow down before you go to bed. Many of us rush around ALL day right up until we fall into bed exhausted.  Your brain and body haven’t had a chance, wind down and relax and you’re still processing the day. Try taking an hour before you go to bed to chill out. Have a warm shower or bath, put on some super cozy pyjamas, light some candles, chat with your family, pat the dog or some light reading... read more

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